Turn to Me

Second times is a charm. Right?

As I started writing this last Monday, everything was going great. I wasn't able to finish my email this last week so I started writing some more thoughts down Monday night and Tuesday Morning.

Tuesday night rolls around and I go to write. I can't find the draft that I was originally writing on. (So this is how Joseph Smith felt when he lost those pages lol) Though disappointing, everything will be ok.

Why? Because there was a greater purpose behind this email than I originally thought. As I went about this week, there were greater testaments to what I am going to talk about today. I will further explain. I think God needed me to pay attention to this topic, so it was on the front of my mind and will be for I hope a while.

In regards to my previous thoughts, pray that the words that I had written down will come back to my memory as if it were the first time.

Let's see how this goes.

I have been thinking a good deal about the time that I have spent here in Texas. All of the Sister missionaries that I started my mission with are all home now. (Sisters serve 18 months compared to the 24 that Elders serve. Don't ask me why...Cause I have the same question lol)

I have started, what some would like to call, "The Downhill Slope" in the last 6 months. Although a little sad that this journey is coming to an end, I still have 6 months and that won't slow me down!

With all my thoughts racing around of what I have been able to accomplish while here in Texas, I have been thinking, I don’t want to become stagnant with where I am. Spiritually. Physically. Emotionally. I want to try and keep improving and 'Endure to the End'.

I have seen missionaries get to a point in their service where they start to get relaxed with where they are. Primarily spiritually but physically and emotionally can apply. I didn't want to fall into this trap of, "I know what I need to do in order to get me by" or "I've been out for said amount of time, I know what I'm doing." Although pretty extreme I didn't want to become complacent.

I decided to take this dedication and determination to my Mission President and see what council he could give me to help me not "slack off." or be complacent. I was doing what I knew to be right, but I wanted to see what he would say to help me not be relaxed with where I am.

He knew exactly where to go;

"Elder Payne, you're a biker, right?"

"Yes, President."

"Do you remember the talk by Michael A. Dunn, 'One Percent Better'?"

"Of course President! My family watches the Tour De France every year!"

"Well, Elder Payne, that's the key. Find something you can always improve on every day, even if it is just 'One Percent Better'"

That direction that he gave has stuck with me ever since. If you want to improve you have to take the steps necessary to do so. You can't just look at yourself in the mirror one day and tell yourself, 'I should lose weight', then don't do anything about it. You have to put in the required effort to lose the weight. The same applies to the spiritual and emotional.

President Russel M. Nelson, the current Prophet of God on the Earth today, while speaking to the world at the April 2021 General Conference of the Church addressed us with this concept:

"Your mountains may be loneliness, doubt, illness, or other personal problems. Your mountains will vary and yet the answer to each of your challenges is to increase your faith. That takes work. Lazy learners and lax disciples will always struggle to muster even a particle of faith.

"To do anything well requires effort. Becoming a true disciple of Jesus Christ is no exception. Increasing your faith and trust in Him takes effort."

('Christ Is Risen; Faith in Him Will Move Mountains' April 2021)

Although he is mentioning our spiritual state I believe that the others still apply from above. "To do anything well requires effort." In regards to my spiritual well-being this is where I am. I want to push with all my might till the end and constantly be trying to improve.

With this "downhill slope," it gives me more opportunities to push myself and grow. Think about a bike race, when you are head to head with your competitor in the last sprint to the finish are you going to just stop pedaling and coast into the finish? Absolutely not! You are going to drop those gears and hammer it to the line.

It is, at times, hard to improve and become the person that God wants you to become. Yet, I am willing to try daily to follow His will and do what He wants me to do. It takes effort and I'm willing to put that effort in. Mainly spiritually but physically and emotionally as well.

With me being willing, it has taught me a lot. And I think it has taught me the most valuable thing that I have learned while serving my full-time mission here in Texas. And I would go as far as to say it is the reason that I needed to serve a mission.

I needed to learn how to rely on God and turn to Him.

And the way I needed to serve.

Obviously to help guide people to Christ. Obviously to talk to people day in and day out to help them better understand Jesus Christ and His gospel. Obviously to help people make and keep covenants.

But I needed to learn how to trust God.

I would often turn to Earthly or temporal solutions for my temporal problems. You think that would do the trick, right? Nope. God wanted me to learn to turn to Celestial solutions for my temporal problems. In the stressful moments, in the moments when life was full of despair when I thought that there was no way I was going to get out of the situation that I was in, I would once again, turn to the world for solace. Yet, wouldn't find the full relief that I was searching for.

I was being taught over and over again that I need not turn to the world but rather to turn to God and rely on His plan for me. And learn, "...that all these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good."
(Doctrine and Covenants 122:7)

It wasn't until I had all the other ways "out" of my problems stripped from me and thrown into a spirit-filled environment, that I learned how to seek and rely on God rather than man.

I couldn't rely on my parent's wisdom or protection.
I couldn't rely on my friends and being able to talk to them to "rant."
I couldn't shut the world out and turn to technology.

I can now say that, I get to not rely on... or turn to...

I get to rely on God.

During a time in my mission when I was tasked with a few different responsibilities, I was feeling overwhelmed and really didn't know what to do. I decided to email my trainer to see what advice he would have for me and help me find answers to my questions. Thankfully, he didn't answer. Once I realized that I probably wasn't going to receive an answer from him, I prayed and asked the Lord for direction even greater than I had prior.

I received this council from the Lord through the Holy Spirit,

"Turn to Me."

I needed this reminder a few more times throughout the time I have spent here in Texas. And I will probably need it a few more times throughout the rest of my life.

I would not be the same person that I am today if I didn't learn to rely on Him.

I have been ever so grateful for my time in Texas and I am excited to continue to improve just 'One Percent Better' (Elder Michael A. Dunn - October 2021) and 'Let God Prevail' (President Russell M. Nelson - October 2020) in my life every single day.

God is real and Jesus Christ is the Savior of the World. He has become personable to me. The Book of Mormon testifies of Him and is a very powerful witness of His love for all mankind.

I wanted to speak more about what has happened this week and weeks prior, but that will come next week, I suppose.

That's about it. See ya.

• Elder Payne